I just read a friend's blog. Pondering upon some things she wrote. Quoting from pch's blog

"I just realized that love is when you pluck enough courage to let someone go and still genuinely wish for that person's happiness without you being any part of it.

Many people like many people. many people hate many people. all i can say is do something, don't hope for a response or for something back, you'll get all the peace in the world... i know being loved is easy.. loving is difficult. there's an overlap though..
you dun have to be attached to be happy.
and that's a lot.. coming from someone like me. "

I agree. Liking someone without hoping for any reciprocation makes me happier at least. I'm lying if i say I never had the thought that me & him would be together but i just wanted him to be happie. and for things to remain the same. thats it. True giving indeed is not hoping for anything in return. If only things were this simple. Well things juz dun go my way. Things happened. I'm learning to face it with an open mind & heart. Be optimistic abt it. its no big deal. Take life as it comes. I know impossible spells us. I knew it all along, right from the start. I am not doing anything abt it. I be myself & let things take its nature course. Let God take care of it, whatever it is.

I only want to be a happie person. Different pple play different role in society. Some are meant for more tedious, stressful, high pay jobs... some for more monotonus, low pay job... I dunno what my role would be but i want to be a happie & simple person. Happy-go-lucky???


First, Reject the idea that happieness lies in the possession of material things, and refuse to make money just for the sake of it. Take life as it comes, laugh a little bit more, and try to find pleasure in simple things.
Second, Enjoy your work. It will not meet the deepest needs of your soul, but it is good to be engaged in a task, however menial that task may be.
Third, Regard everything that God has given you as a gift rather than as something you've earned. Those who say 'I made so much money this year' forget that if God had not given them the health and strength to work, they would never have earned the money. A grateful spirit ought to characterise every one of us.

from Everyday with Jesus, 25 Jul 2005

So many things, easier said than done. Dun just say, DO IT.

Ni zhen is right. NO use thinking of "what if", what abt the future? GOOD question but NO answer. I dun've a solid, concrete plan though there're a lot thinking and scenarios on my mind about my future. Perhaps to be a mother of 2 like you :) If i'm a single, i wan to earn more money to go travelling around the world. If i'm going to be married, i wan to give my children the best, NOT in terms of material stuff or money.

All these finance crap thing i'm learning is valuable knowledge in singapore but NOT my type of thing. Knowledge in Finance can u earn big money, but so? So many pple in nus ntu, or so many pple everywhere have to make do with what they have for the sake of a degree, for the sake of being in a prestigious uni. They fought so hard with what they dun like, with the hectic workload. So many have done it. That's their own problem, NOT mine. There are also those blessed, lucky, rich chaps with money to choose, not only the course, but the university too. That's also their problem. At least i know i'm not poor until i've to support my own education.

Message of the day: IF before u done it, u already knew u wont do well becoz u simply dun've the heart to do it well. Either change the "heart", do it well OR stop doing it. 要做就要到最好，不然就不要做。

I'm closing down my blog soon or i'll blog even less often. Cant write things off my mind freely here, pointless.

HAve u ever wished that...

HAve u ever wished that u were born earlier?
Yes. I wished i'm born at least 5 yrs earlier so i'm working now, i dun've to depend on my retired parents.

HAve u ever wished that u are always a certain age?
YEs. I wished i'm alwayz 15 yrs old. I only need to play and study without having to worry abt other things. Even more simple-minded me!

Have u ever wished that time could juz stop at that year or at the moment?
Yes. I wished time can stopped at the year 2000. i enjoyed every good & bad thing that happened that yr. it was more joy than tears.

Have u ever wished that u & ur friend friendship can remain the same like last time?
YEs. I have friends whom i hoped our friendship can remained a certain way. We could talk abt anything under the sun but now...

Have u ever wished u can salvage a friendship so it can be like in the past?
Yes. We are not enemies but we are friends that behave like strangers. I want to do something abt it but what can i do when the greater part of the problem lies w me.

Have u ever wished that a fairy tale can happen in your own life?
YEs. I longed to have a good friend like Dao Ming Si in Meteor Garden or Shan Zi from The Outsiders. Both characters like their buddy's gf. He is always there for the girl but never snatch her from his buddy, instead help them made up when they 'fight'.

HAve u ever wished that you are a super star?
YES! I wish i am a singer or some actress. I wan to take up all sorts of roles with those smart looking uniform like the pilot uniform!! air-stewardess??!! LAwyer's suite looks smart too.

Have u ever wished that u can see God or angel one day?
YEs. I hope so even if its only in my dreams.

Everything is fated. Today message for me as i opened to the page is for me to see that setbacks & success in life are part of His purpose for me, and thus praise Him in everything.

REad today's headlines: NKF CEO's $600,000 pay revealed in court. After reading the full report, i wonder how CREDIBLE is NKF? To think that the CEO actually flew on FIRST class cabin & built some GOLD-plated tap in his office bathroom using the PUBLIC DONATIONS! I juz watched the news, now NKF is withdrawing their charges against ST reporter for alleged defamation. They sued SPH and its reporter for defamation that a article implied NKF has misused funds collected from the public. I believe that the patients really need financial assistance but the board of directors are questionable people. The public has the right to know what is their salary and how they use the funds coz is our hard earned money and savings. I kinda sympathise with the artistes who are are obliged to perform in the charity show. They practised so hard, some even injured themselves, only to raise funds for the patients but at the end NOT all the money goes to where it should hav been. After this incident, how many would still want to donate money to them?

I'm happie that things are settled. Sometimes it really takes a lot courage to speak out but after doing so i feeel better. If I'm unhappy & i DUN talk things out, its EITHER i forget abt it after complaining OR i feel some resentment against pple. Some time ago i mentioned i was quite disappointed w a fren, talk to him yesterday abt some doubts i had, i rather choose to believe him than to guess & "decipher" if he is telling the truth. Now i feeel much better talking things out coz i know how others feel and pple know how i felt & i dun bear grudges against anyone :)

Wah... The Art of Speaking..i alwayz talk a lot crap & rubbish but when it comes to important things, is juz so hard to get the words out of my mouth. Or when i eventually say it out, my attitude really sucks. How to be straightforward & tactful at the same time? (I) Muz learn muz learn... the Art of Speaking.. Art of Communication...

ok i'm very pisssed now. this place is a punching bag NOW... i shall not say why i'm pissed cooz its kinda long winded to elaborate. anyway every1 is telling me the same thing. Fine FINE and F-I-N-E!!!

Recently I'm really behaving in a very unchristian way. very intolerant of others, very NOT forgiving... very not magnanimous!!! Very UNfilial now also.... Is juz so hard to be true goood christian...