-zb's world

2011-12-22T23:38:00.003+08:00

Back from my taiwan trip

There were some disputes and confrontations during the trip. I am glad that is over. I am glad that we talked things out.

I am quite disappointed. I thought that I understand my friends, I thought that I knew them but I don't.

Someone whom I only knew for a few days actually pointed out that I am the possessive-type of friends. I reflected on this and realized that I indeed am a possessive friend.

I expect my friends to tell me everything. If not almost everything and update me about how they are doing. I don't wish to know about them through facebook or from a third party mouth, regardless of who the third party is. It has to be my friend telling me personally how he or she is doing.

I am also someone that my friends can rely on and count on me. If I had promised them something, I will fulfill the promise. I always feel obliged towards them if they ask me for help or to accompany them.

The question is why am I a possessive friend? It is solely because of my character? Righteous, royal to friends?

Or it is that I am feeling lonely, so I subconsciously become a possessive and a very good friend to fill up these emptiness and loneliness in me?

--

It has to be this trip, each time after every good trip ends, I will miss the people that traveled with me and miss the moments we shared together.

Now I am confused, I do not know if is just the normal post-syndromes of a good holiday OR that I have... I have fall in love with him? Love is too much. I should say or that I could have liked him?

I agree with his friend that we are compatible. I had never thought about this until his friend mentioned it. We are compatible but... but we do not have mutual feelings for each other.

I am still confused, I am hoping is just the the normal post-syndromes of a good holiday.

I am just unhappy with the fact that I do not know what type of girl he likes. I am not jealous of the girl he likes is not prettier than me. Yes, it has to be the fact that I thought i understand my friend, i thought i knew what type of the girls he likes but actually i am mistaken.

Falling in love with a good friend???

2011-11-20T19:15:00.003+08:00

I am recently watching In Time with You, 我可能不会爱你

Is about that 2 good friends that have been friends for 14 years old. The guy loves the girl but he has never confessed until the girl realized that she also loves him... then they are together and married.

My friendship with him is not so close like the Da Ren & YouQing but we are good friends, we are buddies. 9 years of friendship.

I do have the urge occasionally to confess but i won't. Friendship is like a balance. If you are cross that line of friendship, you are damaging the balance between you and him.

Too much concern is also cross the line, making one side of the balance heavier.

I treasure our friendship more than anything else.

2008-09-22T01:41:00.001+08:00

Hope that this is a good beginning for me and us.

I am still in this dreamy, disbelieving state but I hope for the best.

2008-07-13T21:02:00.002+08:00

Shall not blog about this, i feel better now.

MASKS
People wear different masks. Wear mask to protect themselves. Wear different mask when they meet different people.

Mostly importantly is removing that certain mask when you need to. No point putting up a strong front all the time when you are really tired and unhappy. Don't be too hard on yourself. Revealing the weak and soft side to people that you trust is a beautiful mask itself as that is the most trueful you.

2008-07-13T20:52:00.003+08:00

可能不可能 - 郑秀文

爱变成秘密　藏在这最心底
只要想起你　其他都多馀
终于我们只是　短暂的遭遇
虽然背地里　挥之不去
怎能不耽心　怎能不善解人意
除了爱你　还有好多的问题
心情还在继续　已经不能任性

Chorus
到最后　我们可能不可能
问你　回答你
如果还能见到你
一定还要见到你
到最后　我们可能不可能
问你　回答你
幸福的样子
曾经那么接近
我的心看过你　为我动心
一直相信　那并不容易

不断想过去　把现在忘记
我替你收集　每一个记忆
原来我的位置　若有人代替
至少我的心里　一直有你
怎能不耽心　怎能不善解人意
除了爱你　还有好多的问题
心情还在继续　已经不能任性

2008-06-29T03:41:00.002+08:00

I ate this green tea ice cream from Raffles City basement on recent Thursday with my colleague. We had dinner before that at Shokudo at City Link, so we were quite full already but I finished abt 2 cups of green tea ice cream including his share.

When i do not have appetite for food, I still can finish desserts. I simply love desserts. I was reflecting about it...

Desserts makes me feel happy while eating them. 甜品给我很幸福的感觉，我就是喜欢这种很简单的幸福。

1. Ice-cream (green tea, mango, with nuts...)
2. Yogurt mixed ice-cream
2. Waffles
3. Waffles with Ice Cream or chocolate syrup
4. Chinese desserts (ice mango sago, tao suan...)
5. Cakes (tiramisu!, durian, carrot cake, cheese...)

2008-06-29T02:37:00.002+08:00

I feel very much consoled and comforted by my friends overwhelming reaction and concern for me. Thank you. Thank you Delia. Thanks Pch.

Now the problem is really nothing when i think of how my friends consoled me :) It really touched me.

I hate the feeling of being intimidated.

I must become stronger. I must keep my goals and priorities in mind all the time. I am too weak. I must become stronger and better!

I thought I got over it. Whatever it is, no matter how i feel, i cannot and will not dwell in these. Being in self-pity and self-saddness is useless. Move on. Look ahead. Only physically alone. I'm not alone. Be satisfied. Be contended. Be HAPPY. Work hard. Work hard. and WORK HARD.

Work hard at work! Focus, let not others influence you, nor let them sway you, be strong, be firm. Stand by your principles. Keep your values. We are not Jesus, who stood by his faith to save men but at least we can learn from him.

2008-06-19T23:10:00.002+08:00

Since i started this job, this week is the busiest! Busy yet fulfilling.

Perhaps my heart has become stronger and more immune to emotions now. The fact is the Truth really hurts but it is also the truth that let you understand the harsh reality of life, let you see people's true colors and made you into a stronger person.

I got over it. That was the last chance for us. I must not push my luck any further. Thank you God.

Have you ever think of someone and wish for something and that someone appears and that something happens?

2008-06-13T00:13:00.003+08:00

Ignorance is bliss. Some things are better not to be known. I wish I never knew this. Now i'm facing the worst consequences ALONE. With NO friends at all to go through this with me. I used to have Lauren.

Tired, yet I CAN'T let things hit me DOWN. A mix of False front. Pretence. Being Strong. Determined are what i'm now.

I want to go beserk, flare up, throw temper, or any action that can let my anger OUT, so people can mind their own business. But between ignoring and disturbing, i prefer the latter from him. Has it finally come to the state that we are not friends? Betrayal came to my mind first...

Friends also ACCEPT you for WHO YOU ARE.

2008-06-10T22:49:00.003+08:00

I fell from heaven to hell.

Tomorrow i will create my own heaven :)

A Friend

2008-06-10T22:27:00.003+08:00

A friend trusts you
A friend understands you
A friend will speak up for you
You don't need any clarification
Don't need any explanation and your friend still trust you

2008-06-10T22:15:00.002+08:00

Pimples really cannot stop haunting me!!!

I should visit a Gynaecologist.

Possibly Retribution, paying the price now for grave mistakes committed in last life.

2008-06-09T01:42:00.005+08:00

The short meeting with my jc buddy Tze Hern and his friends turned out to be unexpectedly good. To my surprise, I felt guilty for not sending him off today. I was a little worried after hearing today news about the crazy man stabbing people to death in Tokyo. He is going to Japan for one month. People must get together to recall and enjoy the good old memories in school. He actually remembers some things that i don't.

Delia: Do you remember that Samuel gave you bags of coins to pay class fund?

******
Actually long time ago, I already subconsciously expect that it IS coming, but i only thought of avoiding and preventing things from happening, and that was how i reacted. It has never come across my mind to accept and ignore things as they are.

Verbal sexual harassment. Has he ever even REFLECT that his words are form of sexual harassment? I know men are sex creatures but he is a further disgrace to men.

It could be due to my background being from girls school and a conservative and strict family but I simply LOVE my background. I love the way I'm brought up. The Boys class later did made me stronger. But I'm weaker than what i expected myself to be.

Accepting this job itself is already a great change and turning point for me. This is never my dream and it will never become my dream. If it can bring me closer to my dreams by monetary returns, I may persevere on. Now my dream is to go Europe or Germany at end of this year. Dreams can be that simple.

Dreams don't have to be something big to be called a dream.

Accepting things for what they are. Accepting people for who they are. Accepting people for their flaws in character. I'm not a saint but learning to accept and forgive makes me a happier person. The working world is really about accepting things for what they are, unless you've the authority and power to change them.

2008-06-06T00:12:00.004+08:00

Mahjong. I like Mahjong. Exercises my brains, speed up my thinking process.

I'm not doing well at work, will not dwell too much on this. When i'm reflecting about work, his words and advices rings in my ears. When i think abt his words, i feel more pressurized. Pressure can make people charge forward OR retreat backwards, so which WAY to GO now?

I know i can become one of the top too, just like him. I'll take a longer time but how long can i carry on before i rise to be the top? My threshold for stress is high but depends on what type of pressure it is. Different work faces different pressure.

Things are not working out well. I know i should do something to make things better, change, change & change, just do it, just do it & JUST DO IT! No point indulging in my own self-pity. But i dun wan change some things. I just dun wan to change. That is just me!

Not change, rather improve on the current me. Improve, improve & improve!

I love the stubborn me sometimes, is this stubborness that made me stand by my principles. but hate the stubborn me too, coz sometimes being stubborn does not help at all!

2008-06-05T23:45:00.002+08:00

I wonder what is the status now.

Met Delia yesterday. Don't need for exchange of words. The mere presence of friends give me a lot of comfort. That's how they are important to me. That's why i treasure them so much.

Time machine. How many times i wish that time can just stand still at those moments. Those moments that we had. Those precious moments that only happen once. No retake. No repeats. That is why is precious.

I really miss my friend so much. So much that i wish i can strike lottery to have money to fly there and see her. The words Germany, made in Germany, Adidas inevitably reminds me of her.

Random thoughts now. So if u are reading my blog now, you may not understand what i am talking about.

2008-05-24T13:09:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time since i last blog. As blogspot requires me to sign in with Gmail which i refused to register a gmail account.

I was reading Stanley blog and suddenly the urge to blog came back.

I dun even know where to start from. I shall not dwell on the past and try to blog things that are happening to me right at this time. I will be writing whatever that comes to my mind first, and friends who know me know i can be quite random. Out of the blue, i will change topics and talk about different things.

I have stepped into the working society, still adapting and learning. Life is really not easy. I must thank God for giving me a good Boss and good colleagues and also a friend at work. I have heard people say is hard to find true friends at work, colleagues are colleagues, friends are friends. My girlfriend advised me that is not good to be too close to them.

The vicious cycle is happening to me again. Things were going on quite well but some form of barriers came in between. I wasn't satisfied with the status quo. The eager to rush things really can kill, only the slow and steady can win this game. Now is all too late. Perhaps i might never have another chance to even race slowly in this game. Now i dun wan to win, i just want to salvage whatever i can.

Learning how to appreciate things at its current status, learning how to be contented is a skill that everyone must learn. I am always a easily contented person but i wondered what happened to me this time, too blinded by the worldly things. The root of the problem is actually me, leaving only myself to bear all the consequences.

Friends and family are really important to me. When i am tired of life, i think of them. When i really want to quit this job, i think of my parents. When i feel i'm alone to face things, i think of my friends. THEY are MY source of STRENGTH. Have I lost this most valuable friendship? I *pray to God that i still can find it back. My source of strength to continue in life facing all kinds of obstacles ahead.

2007-01-11T00:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 22ND Birthday to myself.

Today i don't look as good in a lot photos i took! The hair is one thing. From certain angle, i look F-A-T. Self realiance is important.

This year birthday was no different from the past year. The only difference is a good friend, PCH, whom did not celebrate b'day with me for 4 years is here today. or was it 3 yrs? Happy to have her around with us today. The older i get the more i dun wan to bother abt birthdays. I see them as gathering

I won't be blogging much. Blogging means i'm not only reflecting but writing down my thoughts, worries, problems, whatever unhappy things. Then i will think too much & recall too much.

I only want to blog about happy things now.

2006-12-20T12:26:00.000+08:00

AAAHhhhhhH~!!!!!!!! I really can't stand my job anymore!!!!! SO much things to do! And pple keep asking me to help them with this and that. The type of work i am doing is easy, but jsut that there is so much things that i can't take it!!! So i need to come here to scream & let out a bit!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

And i am underpaid. This company is rich. They give their female staff Meyson Jewellery diamond pendant as Christmas gift. Male staff i not sure but i think is electronic gudget coz i saw some sony paper bags...

I still have one whole stack of filing to do. Is really never ending filing. The clerk asked me to do her filing! *Bua tahan! She is ok la but sometimes she like to throw her work at me.. that filing is her work ok.

*SCREAM*

2006-12-15T22:03:00.000+08:00

Japanese CD 5 Stella Lights.

If i din remember wrongly i din buy any CDs this year, these are the only CDs i bought. Other one is his korean best album. The songs are really not my type, too slow already. hee. The song u listening right now is from this single. This SINGLE 5 songs only and the rest is instrumental.

Anyway this is selling in Singapore but my is from japan :) Not much difference but i prefer the Japan version. The outer cover is transparent plastic cover.

Although only 5 songs all are nice. Shall put a sad song first.. later post his faster song. And this is my favourite song also whenever i hear this song, i recall the Goong scenes.

2006-12-15T21:31:00.000+08:00

http://www.ohmyhoon.com

Credit: Wenting for the banner!

I am so busy that i dun even have time to update my blog.. actually is more of i can't be bothered to update la.. haha. but i am really busy. Pple please go and support my work in this forum. I am one of the administrators for the forum. but need to Sign up to enter. Anyway go support a bit la.. U dun've to be his fan to join. http://www.ohmyhoon.com/

This is a banner made by my friend. She is not jeong hoon's fan. Is amazing how people can get to know each other coz of the different korean stars they like. Thanks Wenting & Lesley!

Anyway i am working as receptionist now and i am underpaid, really can't stand recruit express they have not been honest with me about the job scope. I am required to do much more. I shall not complain further. I am not unhappy with the job or company coz is not their fault, is just the recruit express really irks me~~~!!!!!!

2006-11-14T02:11:00.000+08:00

I talked to chor hoon, only for a short while on msn. She is not rich just like many of us but she is fighting hard for her dream, so i want to share her words with everyone.

[her: Dun believe anyone who tell u dreams can't be fulfilled

me: Dut now.. i dunno wat my dreams are

her: The will be- just a matter of time.

me: I am so greedy, i want to work overseas.. i want learn jap.. i want this & that...

her: No lar.. you have got to take some time to yourself. Do a deep reflection abt what you want to be, what makes you happy
What makes you happy doesnt have to be your dream but it makes you happy

me: Wat makes me happy?

her: So being a doctor makes u happie

her: Teaching chinese?

her: yeah. learning languages makes me happy
The thought of treating someone makes me happy
I have very few impt people in my life, but the people i treat are impt people to other people
So i'm saving alot of people from hurt.

her: That prospect makes me happy. It's like giving people a second chance to live.

her: But my dreams may never come true if i dun wait. or if i give it up half way. ]

Well, I just want to say to you: Dun give up! You've already come this far, so dun give up!

2006-11-09T13:55:00.000+08:00

Argh. I dunno what is wrong with my house internet!!! Or izzit the blogger.com!!! I can't post photos, they keep telling internet is unavailable during uploading of pics!!!! *argh.

2006-10-18T11:37:00.000+08:00

i am so dead for the exams. really dead. studying is far too slow. I think i need to burn midnight oil if not i really can't finish. my mind is not in studies. i want to go nihon with my sister. She is going japan for a holiday. I am thinking plans after graduation. this is the WRONG time to be distracted. argh.

2006-09-28T12:02:00.000+08:00

Complain queen is here again. I really hate my hair now. piece of shit. argh. Long, messy, thin, bald. Hair loss. Equals to ?? Ugly shit.

Horrible microecons. horrible econs. whatever. Why izzit that the grade C and the word "credit" starts with the same letter? Forget it. And the SENSELESS project is really a WASTE of my time. I have to research on some mortgage loans & property sector. *puke*

I have been thinking. Read susan blog and thinking abt it. I CAN't understand HOW izzit that relationship takes time and trust to build but it can be gone the next minute. It takes one mistake, one stupid thing, one gossip, one misunderstanding or even silence and is ALL gone. GONE. gone and gone. LOST. Friendship, kinship... Relationship is really a TWO way traffic to work, if u alone trying to do something but the other party simply dun care then u know the answer already. but at least u TRIED ur best so u will NOT have any regrets when u look back. Relationships are vulnerable. so vulnerable. Thats why true friends dun just come by chance. At the end of life, u may be only left with a few friends coz people and things change. Maybe is all FATED. I dunno wat to do either. Maybe i should let things be. yeah. Why be so hard on myself? I sound like a preacher here. Enough for the day. ShUt Up.

2006-09-19T01:11:00.000+08:00

I really can't understand wat people are thinking nowsdays! What's wrong with them? What's the use being a highly educated person when you dun even know how to return things to the rightful owner! U mean u're so hardup for money that u need to take my 6610i to sell? Anyway is not a matter of wat hp model it is, the thing is u picked it up and NOT return to me! Maybe it could have been a pickpocket. Whatever, all the same.

This is how far education and school can bring us. They can only impart knowledge but not integrity and moral values. What's the problem here?

I just lost my hp at the toa payoh hub. That place is supposed to be fond memories of my jc days hang out but now? Anyway people be careful ok. I always think my is a old model that no1 wants so i tend to be careless. Old model but new phone. I used it less than a year! ~!

2006-09-16T12:58:00.000+08:00

Here is a MV of My Name is Kim Sam Soon, video clips of filming scene etc. Love the show :) I think the KSS couple are very compatible, even hope that they are together in real life. Looking at them in the video, feels like they are really a pair :P

2006-09-12T11:26:00.000+08:00

Went to try the fortune telling at SIM fun fair. Refused to try it last yr coz i dun wan to be influence by wat a fortune teller will tell me and think too much abt his words. The 1st thing he said abt me is stubborn! I never knew i am stubborn. He said i should find a man stronger than me to maintain the good relationship. I have doubts abt wat he say though part of it is accurate.

Then i asked my sis "Am i stubborn?"

My sis reply "The whole family is stubborn. Even i am stubborn, inherited from parents."

COme to think of it quite true. I think my stubbornness comes from my unwillingness to let go of certain things which are already a history, a past that just will NOT come back. And i am the only one like a fool still hanging on to it when others dun care and already moved on. 一切不可能回到原点。 I have never look at myself from this angle though i know i still can't let go. Discovering the stubborn side of me... My sis advice abt fortune telling "No good to believe in them coz they control you and ur thoughts subconsciously." Yep, i rather pray to God abt my problems etc than to think abt wat he said. Our fate are in our own hands! but he said one thing that makes me motivated to work hard, he said i will be a nu3 qiang3 ren2 :)

2006-09-12T11:08:00.000+08:00

Was pretty lazy to upload photos after the stupid comp went bonkers and some photos got to wait for pple send to me. Photos from top to bottom are latest to earliest. The photos may be quite long ago but better late than never. They are mostly friends birthday party. The most recent one was my sec 2 class gathering at holland village abt 2, 3 weeks ago. I want to have a proper jc class gathering like to hear them talk "cock". Baby pics are photos of my little niece :)

2006-09-12T11:05:00.000+08:00

The classic photo. I think this pic is nicer but is without flash so really can't focus!

2006-09-12T11:01:00.000+08:00

The pretty gals...

2006-09-12T10:52:00.000+08:00

The miracle of life begins here seeing how a baby grows day by day...

2006-09-12T10:51:00.001+08:00

I just came to this world...

2006-09-12T10:51:00.000+08:00

I'm sleeping...

2006-09-12T10:50:00.000+08:00

One month old when we had the chinese One-mth old celebration.

2006-09-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

4 months old...

2006-09-12T10:47:00.001+08:00

6 months old now...

2006-09-12T10:47:00.000+08:00

Loved this pic the most. Think is qte hard to get babies into this position and snapped on time. All these pics taken by my sis-in-law.

2006-09-12T10:45:00.000+08:00

I'm 6 mths old! Yeah :0)

2006-09-12T10:44:00.000+08:00

She likes to play with her feet...

2006-09-12T10:43:00.000+08:00

ALL so CUTE :)

2006-09-12T10:31:00.000+08:00

Jeff's b'day celebration but he didn't buy a bday cake. The buffet served is good :)

2006-09-12T10:28:00.000+08:00

Jem and me.. do we've the couple look? haha. but is not wat u all think.

2006-09-12T10:27:00.000+08:00

My jc classmates who are mostly guys. Sitting beside is MY most BeLoVeD delia :)

2006-09-12T10:15:00.000+08:00

Shirley bday. ya i know it was mths ago la...

2006-09-12T10:14:00.000+08:00

can't think of a caption la...

2006-09-12T10:03:00.000+08:00

Pris' b'day. Can u guess who's the bday girl?

2006-09-12T10:02:00.000+08:00

Even the bday candles are so cute..

2006-09-12T10:01:00.000+08:00

Yep the b'day gal is the one in pink. Her bday cake has 3 forever frenz bears.. so cute =)

2006-09-12T09:59:00.000+08:00

here's one more...

2006-09-10T23:11:00.000+08:00

Have u ever read blog that is a mirror of your own thoughts? After reading it, u feel so attached to it that u always want to go back and read coz u feel that u feel the same way as the blogger. I juz did. I dunno if is alright to mention her name here. Unexpectedly, two consecutive entries of hers are what i'm going through and thinking of too! Her worries abt the future are what i'm worrying abt too. Not that i know her very well but juz feel we are alike in some ways. I am very much attached to it now.

I should really learn how to snap out of my memories and day dreaming. Got to do some project work now. There's group meeting tomorrow.

2006-09-07T17:01:00.000+08:00

As my comp's internet is still down so i am even lazier to blog. haha. I have beeen shuffling between 2 PCs at home, running from my room to kitchen: To transfer files from kitchen PC to ext. harddisk/thumbdrive then to my PC and vice versa. very irritated already. kuai4 fa1 feng1 le4! ,

Now playing my favourite songs by FIR :) This FIR's Fei1 Xing2 Bu4 Lou4 album is excellent. or i shd say it suits my style more? Is more of ballad style than rock style. I love the Yu Yin Hua, the starting of the song, the music is rather special, feels like mixture of some anicent japanese music & modern chinese music. Of cos the deut Tian2 Ye2 is english mixed chinese :) Impressed. msn me for them.

Life has been pretty good so far. the same. What MORE can i EXPECT? :) Sometimes u've to tell yourself this so u'd b contented and happy. Saw ni zhen's blog "Failure is a feeling one should never get too used to." I agree. Not that i am facing any crisis or failure now, but juz feel i am too used to certain things in life, too used to my own thinking abt exams that i dun study that hard now. Too used to a heck care attitude. TOo used to many things. Habit habits and bad habits, i need to get rid of YOU!

k thats for the day folks.

2006-07-10T09:45:00.000+08:00

I didn't blog for quite some time. My computer internet is DOWN- can't connect! Not due to network problem coz my sis's one has no problem! Due to what problem, i do not know.

Some updates here. The past week i've been quite busy and i spent a lot of money!!! I spent money like nobody's business! There were 2 gatherings and 1 b'day party plus i bought this really expensive q-locks. I have not done the proper calculation but I think i spent abt $200 this week!!! One of the gathering was a mah jong session then we went to nearby mac to chit chat, it was only a 4 persons gathering. haha. Lost quite a bit but was quite fun playing with daphne. Sometimes is the people u play with that matters, is not all abt winning or losing.

I have been busy working & slacking when i am free for the past holiday that i always forget abt important things. Planning. Plan for my future after i graduate. For girls, is pretty fast, all happen too fast. After awhile, when the next world cup comes, i am 25! Short term plan is important too. Youth is short for woman. Girls must be independent to be real women!

A true story to share... Why are some guys like that? U tell me la...

This guy name him A, he was with a girl, E all along but went with another girl, F. He is a 2-timer and probably a 3-timer. A, F & G are colleagues. When guy A & F went out, F always ask G along. Feelings developed between A & G. Gal G also has a boyfriend.

What happens is the first gf, E broke up with A coz she knows he 2-timed. A & F were together for about 3 months and also broke up because A wanted to court G!! G also broke up with her bf. As F & G were colleagues and friends, they were very upset. A & G are together now. F left the company to avoid them.

The worse thing is i think girl G knows what kind of guy A is, but still decided to be with him. Really dunno what she is thinking?! A & G were my colleagues but this is their business. I am not in any positon to say anything. Hope that he will really change for her. Hao3 zhi1 wei3 zhi1.

Moral of the story? Think abt it yourself. haha.

2006-06-12T01:59:00.000+08:00

Small things that i care a lot can really made me pissed & angry.

They are silly & stupid to pple but important to me. they mean a lot to me.

Don't want to talk abt it. pple will think i'm ridiculous. but i am.

A happy day working till 11pm ended in a bad mood.

thats it for now.

2006-05-26T00:39:00.000+08:00

Slow but steady, i can concentrate better in the quiet night. Da vinci, i want to take back my words now... I am really impressed at how dan brown reseached on the history of famous people, events, the art and linked them up all together into his own story.

I have to wake up early for a phone interview tmr!!? Coz the employer wants to test my speaking skills as a receptionist!

2006-05-22T23:35:00.000+08:00

Some updates here.. I am a tvb fan but i just realise i never talk abt any Tvb drama here, so i will write some reviews soon. still got to find pictures. I am a hk fan due to tvb dramas. haha. *craving for dim sums.

I want to talk abt this job i was working last week. I worked at this call centre outsourced by ministry of manpower for 3 days and quit. Coz i really can't tolerate their working style and their inefficient management! Is not any difficult job. There are many calls from the public so there are never-ending calls for the day. The permanent staff is insufficent to answer all the calls. What I had to do is answer overflow calls, take down their problems and contact number & tell them the pple-in-charge will call them later as we are experiencing high call volume. For those urgent cases, we make a mark or pass on to our supervisor immediately. sounds like an easy job rite?

The problem is the customer service officers never get back to them. or they didn't return call in short period of time. This results in the same pple calling back again, leaving messages once, twice, thrice... until they get fed up with us. Imagine u need to employ a foreign worker urgently, u got to wait for approval then u can bring the worker over but there is NO answer from other side!!! So how?? Then u try calling to get the CSo to check & help solve ur problem but end up u still do not get any answer but only a "human" voice message system.

I think leaving messages like that is as good as no1 answering the calls. Can't give them a solution that they need. Can't help them at all. No point in continuing to take down their messages. Before i went in, i thought they would give us training as a CSo but... Heard that there is a CSo who was not given any training so he had to figure out everything himself.

I am reading da vinci code now, hope i can read finish. Still dun understand what is the big hooha abt this book. I think is ok only. Maybe coz of pple's good remarks abt it so i've too high expectations. Got to read finish to give a fair comment. Friend told me there is some anti-christian elements inside but i am reading with an open mind. Dan Brown use a lot those 'chim' vocabulary or should i say my english is deteriorating?

2006-05-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

Exams are finally over. The mahjong session after exam with kelvin and some new classmates was enjoyable. There are people who can tolerate playing mahjong with me. I am not that slow now. I've improved.

Whats up now?? Complain queen is here!!!

I just realised i've that i've such ugly looking feet! I knew it all along but just cannot be bothered with it. After wearing slippers for too long, there are wider gaps in between my toes! UGLY. Finally understood why dad disliked us to wear slippers! He'd complained when he sees us in slippers. Actually is only me! Sister doesn't wear slippers. She already trained herself to wear heals everyday. *wow! Ever since i left school i have been wearing slippers! No doubt, they are the most comfortable, but they are not the best looking footwear. No more slippers for now.. Mayb i will get papillo. but is not my top priority. I will train myself to wear those elegant looking shoes! Yesterday i wore shoes for one whole afternoon to shop! is NOT track shoes ok. I can do it! Ganbatte!

I bought a pair of shoes yesterday! haha. Some tips when u buy shoes: Always try one size bigger, more comfortable. Sister just scolded me *helld! :( Is nOt vain, is just self-realising of your ugly physical assets. Yesterday mainly was window shopping. Cant afford to buy yet. I need a job to finance my shopping desires! Branded skincare is my top priority given my type of skin. My wishlist is getting longer. Handphone?? Can wait la... my hp plan is not 12mths full also. I want to go JJ Lin Jun Jie concert!!! *argh! So many never ending "wants"! I really need a job.

2006-05-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

My news shoes :) Looking at them makes me feel happie! am i crazy..

2006-04-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

horrible exam!!!

horrible NOT because is difficult but there was just NO time to write finish! I feel a bit cheated when i saw the paper.. all short answers? Coz i always spent too much time preparing the 1st paper of exams. I even went to read the textbook for some parts... Too bad.. no use crying over spilt milk but just me complain a bit ok!! This reminds me of some literature or history exam in secondary school but they were better!!! coz they are essay type questions.. so u tend to write a lot... this is NOT even an eassy exam but there was no time!!!

Study hard! Ganbatte every1!!!

2006-04-09T00:23:00.001+08:00

Life has been pretty normal and plain boring.

April is here. which means March has ended. ONE month has passed. To some pple, this one month is nothing. To some, it might be - "its only a month but so much happened. Yeah its only a month but so much happened.

I have just been told of bad news from a friend. Sigh. Apparently she likes her lecturer who is 37 years old and the lecturer seems to like her too. Things are not so simple besides the fact that they are teacher and student. Too many issues. So what is she going to do now? I wish i had THE right answer for her. I have no idea myself.

Fruit of thought for the day: What do u all think of older guys? What do u think of teacher student relationship? I think once a teacher, always a teacher. but when the student graduates, is ok. Then wat abt going with a man who is much older than you? Lets say 10 yrs older than the girl. Age is not a problem. or maybe it is.

I dunno many things myself. Clueless.

2006-03-12T22:07:00.000+08:00

Unknown mistakes in life.
Have u ever lost a something important and found it back? Or nearly lost this something. Have u realised you made a mistake only after years?

I never knew that i was wrong. Found out my mistake years later. I only found out my mistake recently when i so happen talked abt it. I am glad that this mistake did not cause me to lose a good friend. I nearly lost a good friend. I found her back. Thank God.

Mistakes. Unknown mistakes in life. You just never thought that u're wrong or u could be the one at fault. Don't find excuses for yourself. At that point of time I did not reflect upon myself. Human beings can so easily find fault with others without asking themselves FIRST - "Did i do anything wrong?"

忍耐 Tolerate.
To my sim classmates, 2 words for all of us, 忍耐 ren3 nai4！I was told that this is not a suitable course for me so i am not getting the grades that i should be getting. I dun want to question myself again! I just want to do well. 我只想说忍耐！

Unanswered questions in life will find their own answers later..perhaps...

2006-03-05T03:00:00.000+08:00

Pch is sleeping... whenever she is back in s'pore, she will get me thinking abt some things with all her talks and perceptions of how life should be lived... @#$%&^*!!!!

I finally knew why. Found the answer. To the question that I have been asking myself. I finally knew why. I didn't purposely go and find the answer. I reckon i dun like to purposely look for answers. It just came when i talked to my friend. Now that i know why, it doesn't help at all. I should have known it earlier. I did. subconsciously. I am accepting it now. I should snap out of it. Snap out of my dream.

Its already freaking late... but i am sitting here staring into the black space and thinking abt the possibilties that are all just a dream. People will scold me crazy. Yes it is. I am questioning myself again.

I am fine. My is just a silly problem and wishful dream. thats all. I just need to snap out of it. My friend is back for a short vacation, so these few days its orchard, orchard and orchard. I cant take it anymore!!! haha.

What's next now? Stop thinking so much. Sleep lesser. Developed brains dun have to sleep that much. That is why babies sleep, sleep & sleep...

Good night.

2006-02-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

我现在正在听 7多花的迷宮。“ 我不要自己一个人去面对未知的迷宫，眼看着幸福就在前头，却无法到手。。。”

我已经越来越不知道我的未来在那里。。。

Just a short note before i study for the test. Hope i dun go to bed like that. Today is a demoralising day looking at the companies offered for the Internship briefing i went just now. None are related to wat i am studying now. No finance companies at all. There is DBS but I can't choose. I wonder where my degree will bring me...

Next is the japanese class. Its hard to learn a language if u dun have chance to use it. I recall how i learned to speak in english. Learned it when i was taking school bus to school with all the kids talking in english. Thats how i picked it up myself when i listened.

Japanese?? Almost an impossible mission. Its only the beginning and i already think its almost impossible. but NOT impossible. Nowadays i like to question myself too much... When i feel like giving up on learning jap, i ask myself - What then is my purpose of learning? Its like NO meaning at all. I like languages more than other subjects. I love the literature part of a language. No, no, not the olden shakespears period's language or the ancient chinese used. I love reading a novel and analysing the characters etc. I miss E Lit. class... I have a lot comments abt Singapore education system of Chinese & the values & beliefs our government hold for the language. I think is...

Getting long-winded again... get back to main point 1st...

I just have nothing better to do, too free so i wan to pick up another language & mayb find a job that requires me to use the language. Coz in spore, dun need other languages to survive. I am just so nothing-better-to-do. I enjoy the class, keeps me focus for the 3 hours. Is hard to daydream in langauge class.

I cant just give up like that! I taking it as self-challenge! Human beings are different because they can be tested for difficulties! Fruit for thought: What are your challenges in life? Maybe learning how to skate, play musical instrument, learn how to sing!

Anyone watch winter olympics recently? I think only i did. I watched Figure Skating, Skiing & Ice hockey :) Figure skating = elegant + graceful!

2006-02-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

I am very lazy to blog. plain lazy. Posted pictures of my little niece and my friends. Met my cj friends abt 1 mth ago b4 chinese new yr. Sort of to celebrate my birthday but it was more of a class gathering. Its not easy getting these guys together for a meal! I was from science class in jc, so most of my classmates are guys. yup. I hope all of us will find our own goals in life. People at different stage of life talk abt different things. When would be the next time we meet? What would we talk abt the next time? Work? Marriage?

Plan, plan & plan... What is your plan for life now? I am always trying to plan. but somehow the plan gets no where. means no plan in the end. I remember a teacher once told me, if u set ur goals early, u already know wat u want, u will work harder towards it. No time wasted. I miss school life, miss school uniform, miss the teachers that chase after us for homework & getting angry with the boys...

what's next now? What is the next step?

I just hope one day i wake up, my skin will be become wat it was. Do u believe in last life? Buddists believe in reincarnation. Christains believe they only live one life. Karma? There is a saying in chinese 无仇不成父子。无怨不成夫妻。I heard it from tvb drama, haha. so i dun know if they are passed down from the great chinese ancestors. It means if there is no hatred or some form of vengeance, 2 pple wld not become father & son or become couple. I interpret it as 2 pple own each other a lot in their last life, so they become couple or father and son.

I believe in last life. I believe and accepted Christ but i'm more of free thinker. My main point is i wonder wat did i do wrong in my last life to deserve a bad complexion? Dun worry, i am not sad. Its not the end of the world. Conclusion is: The retribution for sins u've committed will fall on u but it mayb in your next life or on the people u love. Who knows? I used to think if i have $, i can fulfill my dreams. I have $ to go overseas to do study what i like. I would have done a dietician degree. Then what abt those who are borned with a silverspoon in their mouths? The rich. The pretty. the clever. Its NO use envying them. Its their fate. Its their life. 这是他们的命。

Am i getting long-winded? haha. one thing leads to another. one thought leads to another. So what is next?

No idea.

Next is abt my little baby niece. I went over to my sis-in-law's house yesterday. I carried her for only 15 mins and my arms were already aching!!! She has running nose, so need to carry and coddle her to sleep. We carried her for abt 1 hr in different positions then she finally falls asleep! When my arms were aching while carrying her, i understood a bit of - "Its NOT easy to bring up a child". Cheers to all great mothers & fathers in this world.

2006-02-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

babies are the miracles of life. yeah. :)

2006-02-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

my little niece is 1 mth old now... cuter!

2006-02-25T23:24:00.000+08:00

Any good looking boys or guys? haha.

2006-02-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

nice cake, pretty girl & handsome guy?! haha. yeah.

2006-02-25T23:22:00.000+08:00

Dinner with my jc old pals at Ricetable to celebrate my 21st bday... abt 1 mth ago...

2006-02-08T01:42:00.000+08:00

Little Chiyo in Memoirs of Geisha... got this pic from delia blog..lazy to search for one..

2006-02-08T01:18:00.000+08:00

just a short note b4 i go to bed! i am lazy to write long stories.

Finally watched Memoirs of Geisha!!! I love the movie! :) I must say i really like this type of historical movie. Story line that moves along history and culture of a country. The main geishas all portrayed their character well!!! GREAT! I like the little Chiyo! So pretty!!!

I am still in a HOLIDAY mood enjoying life here!!! But i am extremely broke. i would say bankrupt looking at the balance of my bank account. Shall not elaborate on this now.

Anyway pple I started 2nd japanese lesson already. I think japanese is easier than chinese. Not because i am good at japanese, i am a lazy student! No time to eloborate on this also... but i just want to say i am very proud of my race & culture! Chinese chinese chinese, yeah!!! Yoohoo!!!

ok la i need to sleep. oyasumi nasai. means good night in japanese.

2006-01-27T00:55:00.000+08:00

I love u little sarah!!!

2006-01-27T00:52:00.000+08:00

my little cute niece is crying!!! but still so cute!

2006-01-27T00:51:00.000+08:00

my little niece is sleeping :) kawaii!!!

2006-01-21T15:18:00.000+08:00

What abt this pink? I still like the 1st pair i posted.

2006-01-21T15:16:00.000+08:00

What abt this colour?!!

2006-01-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

This is one of popular designs... If they dun've the pink strap and white pair.. i might buy this... hmm..

2006-01-21T15:14:00.000+08:00

I want this!!! but i didn't see it in any shops that i went...
Pple, pple help me look out for this? Arigatou.

2006-01-21T15:12:00.000+08:00

Beautiful Sakura :)

2006-01-21T13:06:00.000+08:00

Posted pictures for my 21st birthday celebration with my family and friends. Just a simple but heart-warming celebration. Went out with my family to have dinner and went to my brother's house to cut cake. Can u see from the picture that my sister-in-law is pregnant? I am going to be aunt soon. 小姑！ hahaha :p Had ktv with my dear friends & classmates :)

The other photos were where i went to during the New Year. Yeah i went to this extremely high-class place with my sister and her friends, that is Westin hotel Equinox to count down for new year. I cant afford such places of cos. Because its New Yr Eve, the entrance fee cost $50 each person! But the night view from 71th level is marvellous! I love the jazz lounge coz its quiet and there is live singing. There is also a disco next door. A lot of foreigners there, i think many of them're tourists who stays in the hotel. rich.

Had a cultural exchange as i got to know japanese through my sister.
Some facts abt Japan:
1) Everyone uses 3G phones. They started for quite some time already.
2) Many do not know how to speak in english although they have learnt it.
3) They all have very good fashion sense. The girls read fashion magazine frequently.
4) Sakura flower blossoms in spring but it only opens for abt 2 weeks. Different cities have different blossom time depending on the weather.
5) Their new year holiday is for 3 days that is from 1st-3rd jan except for retail stores, they start work early.
6) Bungalows & terrace type of houses are cheap but high-rise flats, condominum are expensive. 7) japanese dun like people to use the word "jap" because it sounds like usa slang to them.
8) Shinkansen 新幹線 is the name of japan high speed train, travels abt 300-400 km/hr.
9) Women go out to work too. They are not the submissive wives.
10) Japan has the largest number of golf course in asia, abt 2000 over golf courses.
11) Cities like Shibuya city is the birthplace of fashion trends. They create original fashion. cool :)
Please change to Unicode to view.

2006-01-21T02:11:00.000+08:00

bel & me... ktv queens too!!!

2006-01-21T02:10:00.000+08:00

wendy, me & ni zhen... ktv queens :)

2006-01-21T01:56:00.000+08:00

My family and I =)

2006-01-21T01:55:00.000+08:00

My 21st birthday cake :)

2006-01-21T01:44:00.000+08:00

everyone looks tired.. except me! haha..

2006-01-21T01:34:00.000+08:00

My Japanese friends, the one in black is kazu-san. he is like my older brother :)

2006-01-21T01:19:00.000+08:00

Equinox entrance.. my sis said they dun allow pple with slippers to go in... but i got through!

2006-01-21T01:18:00.000+08:00

Equinox CitySpace - mesmerizing view at 71th storey & relaxing live jazz music!

2006-01-21T01:14:00.000+08:00

Live singing at city space.

2006-01-21T01:06:00.001+08:00

(from left to right) Margie, my deary Sister & me.

2006-01-21T01:06:00.000+08:00

Went Equinox CitySpace jazz lounge with them!

2006-01-21T01:03:00.000+08:00

equinox's restaurant...

2006-01-21T00:55:00.000+08:00

Storage room for wines... outside the washroom.

2006-01-21T00:49:00.000+08:00

I like the the way they display the wine/liquor collection along the corridoors :)

2006-01-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

equinox's high-class washroom with make-up room!

2006-01-21T00:28:00.001+08:00

Westin hotel's tennis & badminton courts!!!

2006-01-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

can see carlton hotel... the words in red is carlton hotel.

2006-01-21T00:16:00.000+08:00

view from equinox city space...

2006-01-05T18:39:00.000+08:00

Lam Chak Ban is my cantonese name :) Got my honkie friend to translate for me and she said it sounds like a guy name. my name is a guy name. ask my dad who gave me the name, dunno...

Whats up now?? I just found out that 2 modules are all about economics. thanks!!! good gracious!!! I mean i already knew one is macroeconomics, but i didn't know the Price & Markets module is also abt economics!!! Shit!!! And this week lectures are boring!!! All about some silly law & regulations!!! And the exam is going to be open book essay questions. I hate essays!!! The 2nd semester we did a law module and i thought this law module would be ok but its ~~@#!!! I hate economics! Some concepts are not that hard to understand but when you do the questions is ~!@#!!! Horrible. Its so hard to apply what you learn to the questions. Oh dear it just reminds me of physics. What you study and what is tested in exam is different. Oh its too bad, its my choice, so i have to bear with all these shit for another 1.5 years. 爸不喜欢我们半途而废。 so i have to make the best out of it.

2005-12-28T20:14:00.000+08:00

A few more pics from BK, Bangkok...

BTS Skytrain in BK. They only have escalators for going up. Coming down is by stairscase.

2005-12-28T19:59:00.000+08:00

Dun u think the pail is cute...